“Some people are uncoachable,” said the speaker, who was giving tips on mentoring others.

I nodded in agreement. I'd recently been thinking the same thing, and it was good to hear him affirm my thoughts.

Now, I've known for years that many people don’t want to be taught. But those aren't the ones he was referring to. He was talking about people who've actually come to you for advice and information.

The speaker said he tries very hard not to invest much time into a person who asks him a question and then doesn’t let him respond, or clearly ignores what he says, even if that person is offering to pay for his time. It's just not worth the frustration.

I totally agreed. Over the years, I’ve come across a number of people who, after coming to me for advice, clearly ignored my response. Oh, they may have let me get a few words out, but their body language and comments quickly led me to realize the question was simply an excuse for them to tell me what they thought was the right answer. I can only assume they wanted me to agree with them, and that was that. And when I didn't wholeheartedly agree, they wrote off everything I had to say. They weren't there to learn from me, but to get my affirmation for what they wanted to do, or maybe to impress me with their ideas.

It’s strange, really. I’ve never felt anyone has to ask for, accept, or act on my advice, but if they don’t even want to hear it, why waste my time by asking for it in the first place? Why not simply come and tell me what they think?

Let me give a fictitious example.

I find writers are some of the worst people for doing this. Especially new writers who have an idea (usually for a book).

So let's suppose I’ve just spoken to a crowd about some aspect of writing about your personal experiences. A person comes up and says to me, “I’m writing a book about my life. I was raised in a Christian home but I rebelled against God and my life was a mess. Then I became ill and prayed and God healed me. What do I need to do to get my book published?”

Over the years, I’ve come to realize that what most people asking this question want to hear is, “I know just the publisher for you! I’ll introduce you to the acquisitions editor, and I’m sure he'll be interested,” or “Just self-publish your book with X, and it will sell like wildfire.”

How likely is it that I’m going to say either of these things? 100% against. For starters, a good story is a dime a dozen. We all have at least one good story in us. But few of us know how to tell our story so well that others will take the time to read it, and fewer still know how to write with both creativity and excellence.

So my response is likely to contain titles of books they ought to read, joining a writers' organization, starting small with articles and stories and working up to a book, etc. Some people will listen and nod and ask great questions and go away with a few things to think about. Others will listen for a moment, but at the very first opportunity, they'll tell me they're going to go ahead and write the book their way and it will be a bestseller because God gave them the idea. Then they'll look at me as if daring me to disagree.

I used to waste my time and energy trying to help them understand the reality of the publishing industry. But eventually I learned it wasn't worth my time unless the other person was actually listening. Now, I just wish them good luck and move on to someone who actually wants my advice. It's so freeing to do that!

I used to feel that whenever I saw a need, it was up to me to try to meet that need. I always felt that I was the "responsible one." But I no longer feel that way. Maybe it has to do with getting older and realizing that my time is the most valuable thing I have, so I have to spend it very carefully.

And I also know that I have to stay coachable myself, because being uncoachable, or "having an unteachable spirit," as another person phrased it, is an all-too-common human characteristic, affecting everyone from the four-year-old who ignores her mother’s warning not to take the toy away from her baby brother, to the baseball player who won’t try his batting coach’s advice, to the doctor who won't listen to what the patient is trying to say. Any time we feel we feel we know everything we need to know about a topic, we’re in danger of becoming unteachable.

How do we avoid this?

By learning to set our own ideas aside for a time and listening with an open mind and a humble heart. We especially need to do this if we’ve asked someone for advice, if we’re talking to someone in authority over us or in a close relationship with us, or if we're with someone who might have first-hand insights into a topic we're learning.

If we assume we'll never know all there is to know about a subject, and go through life with teachable spirits, we’ll make new, amazing discoveries every day.

The blogs I entered were "The movement to re-engineer writers:" and "Listening with Your Mind and Your Heart."

I'll be posting both of them on here in the next couple of days.

Currently looking for a picture of me getting the award so you can see the very cool dress I found to wear at the awards.

Here I am getting the certificate and cheque from Denise Rumble, the Managing Director of The Word Guild.

The award was actually sponsored by the Christian Herald, but due to printing difficulties,  the editor, Fazal Karim Jr., was unable to get to the gala in time for that presentation.

Thanks to Marianne Meed Ward, who was the judge for this award.

I’m delighted to announce that the winner was named today, and it’s Hot Apple Cider! I’m sure it had something to do with getting to know 30 authors, and also the variety in this hope-filled book.

Congratulations to everyone who was nominated. And thanks to the CLAO for supporting Canadian authors.

There will be a discussion time focused on one book, by a Canadian author, that all participants are to have read prior to the conference.

See the complete list of books.

More details about the conference.

I’m honoured to have two of my books included. And delighted that CLAO has chosen to promote Canadian authors in this way. We’re all winners!

But I was reminded last night that I ought to mention that I have been shortlisted for three awards. well, two stories. Both of them from Hot Apple Cider. "The Diamond Ring" is shortlisted for the General Readership article, along with three others. And both it and "My Letter to the Editor" are shortlisted for Inspirational/Devotional article:

Article—General Readership
Cynthia d'Entremont of Lakeview, N.S. for “An Unexpected Gift” (A Maritime Christmas: New Stories and Memories of the Season Anthology)
Angelina Fast-Vlaar of St. Catharines, Ont. for “It Was Then That I Carried You” (Hot Apple Cider Anthology)
N. J. Lindquist of Markham, Ont. for “The Diamond Ring” (Hot Apple Cider Anthology)
Colleen Taylor of Duval, Sask. for “Arlington Beach Camp and Conference Centre: a very special place” (Last Mountain Times)
Colleen Taylor of Duval, Sask. for “Newschool Arts: so much more than pottery” (Last Mountain Times)

Article—Inspirational/Devotional
N. J. Lindquist of Markham, Ont. for “My Letter to the Editor” (Hot Apple Cider Anthology)
N. J. Lindquist of Markham, Ont. for “The Diamond Ring” (Hot Apple Cider Anthology)
Rose McCormick Brandon of Sault Ste. Marie, Ont. for “Discouraged” (Today's Pentecostal Evangel)

Of course, I edited Angie's story in Hot Apple Cider, so that's cool. :) I think a couple of other pieces from Hot Apple Cider are also up for awards.

And Colleen Taylor's article on Arlington Beach Camp and Conference Centre brings back memories. I was born in Regina and lived there for a number of years after I was married. (My husband is from Swift Current). We lived at Arlington Beach Camp the first summer after we were married, looking after the camp store and the grounds. Les also served as life guard. And the following summer we directed a camp for junior highs.A long time ago…

Check out the complete list of finalists for these awards, as well as the Best New Canadian Author Award finalists and the press release for the 2009 Leslie K. Tarr Award winner, Ray Wiseman.

The Word Guild Awards Gala on June 17th will be held at World Vision headquarters in Mississauga. It's open to the public. With Herbie Kuhn (the Air Canada voice of the Toronto Raptors) as emcee, it's guaranteed to be a great evening.

June 17, 2009: World Vision headquarters, 1 World Drive, Mississauga. For tickets call Jeanette Duncan at 519-886-4196.